Progress
Rather
than inch by inch, progress seems to be moving millimeter by millimeter. So
he’s standing a little faster than yesterday, or able to reach a little higher
with his exercises. It hardly seems like a celebration, but do make note of it.
Recovery is happening!
People
ask how things are going, and you try not to bark back at them: Not fast
enough! I’m tired, he’s not able to do much, and I want our life back! But you
attempt a smile and say, “We’re making a little progress. Still have a ways to
go.”
They say
you look tired. Well, you are. Fair enough. And not likely to change in the
near future.
And
should you push him a little or let him go at his own pace? Beware: This is the
stuff of nasty snits and fights.
Your
husband may be the perfect person who good-naturedly tries hard and is never in
a bad mood. If so, we all hate you.
For the
rest of us, tread lightly. Let the therapist push and you just reinforce and
cheer on. You do want a continuing relationship, right?
Right?
Come on, now--
Then, on
a day when you’re bleary-eyed and trying to make nice with the therapist, your
husband performs his exercises with a grace and vigor you haven’t seen. You’re
amazed and the therapist smiles and nods. Yes, it’s working. He’s finally
getting better.
Normal
returns, finally
It seems
to take forever, but suddenly something happens that feels—normal! Like going
to the grocery store by yourself and not worrying about him getting along while
you’re there. Or going out to dinner, even though he’s still using the
wheelchair. You enjoy your dinner and conversation and it feels—normal. How
wonderful!
He learns
how to get in and out of a car, is walking more smoothly, and seems more like
his old self. He starts getting more interested in his usual activities and
invites friends over. You’re actually making plans for fun things. You have
time for long showers, to enjoy a TV movie, to cook a nice meal. Normal kind of
creeps in slowly, but when it does, it’s so surprising and welcome.
Normal may be somewhat different than it
was before the injury, but it seems so much better than what you’ve been living
through. You can make appointments, meet your friends, and start to return to
your life as well. Normal feels like a refreshing whiff of cool air. And best
of all, It brings a sense of peace with it.
So go celebrate in whatever way that seems
appropriate. Retire the wheelchair—recovery has happened! Take pride in the
fact that you survived—and so did he!
---------
I hope you found these entries helpful! Feel free to email me
on the contact page and let me know. An e-version of the eleven blogs will be
available on Amazon later this month (August 2020), and a paper booklet some
time after that.
